The future of our country lies in the hands of children
Children and parents having issues are very common. Parents, mostly from all ethnicities, feel greatly concerned about bringing up children. And whatever they do, their whole concern is, you know, to do their best for their children. And I appreciate that because children are our future, not only parents’ future but children are our future because children are going to be our doctors, nurses, policemen, firefighters, environmentalists, and research scientists, that is the new generation, and we all have the responsibility to take care of them. So that they take care of us in whatever, smaller, big effort, but we are dependent on our future generation.
It is important that parents do not put direct or indirect expectations on their children
In recent times or this period, what I see is that this relationship is very much stressed. And the biggest problem children have is to catch up to the standard set up by parents directly or indirectly, the expectations of their parents and expectations of the others around them.
Parents do not know what else they can do to make their children understand
The problem for parents is that they do not know what else they can do to make children understand that whatever they’re doing is for their future.
So, there is this confusion, disturbance, noise, upset, stress, and disease in between parent and child relationship. That gives birth to a plethora of terms autism, attention deficit syndrome ADHD, and Asperger’s Syndrome spectrum of that.
When I listen to all this new terminology, which is there to understand how a child is acting or reacting, and putting him under some label, and then trying to understand him, it really hurts me, really really hurts me. This is not the way to understand by labeling him under some category.
In order to understand someone, you must be available to him or make him feel safe
To understand someone, you have to be available for him or make him feel safe enough. So that he has enough time to understand himself. This is not how we live life where we are put in a bubble and we are asked to act as per some standards and perform as per some expectations. I will try to own responsibility as a parent more than putting the share of responsibility on children. Because for a pretty long time, they are under our protection or our control. We can get things done from them the way we want.
I think that clarity has to be more with the parents or the caregivers, those who are looking after the young ones, or the teens or the adults, those who have become adults by the age, but they’re still like young ones or teens. Communication is something that is completely out between the parents and children.
I’m not saying communication means that yes, we do talk to them, we tell them and we make them understand and I have been very kind to them and I listened to them. There are some missing pieces in communication as a result there is more misunderstanding in this relationship than understanding. So, in case you want to help your child sail through the complexities of life. First you need to calm down and look at various factors which are important for your child’s upcoming journey. We will talk more about it.
YouTube Channel Name: Dr. Alka Chopra Madan
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