Let’s talk about a personal fixation. So, you find yourself fixated on some particular person, that particular person can be a loved one. A person whom you love really deeply, and you just want to live with that person, you can’t live without him. And you think about that person all the time, you’re passionate about him, and you think life is nothing without him.
And that seems to be the main purpose of living, though it is a healthy feeling to have to be in love with somebody. But then it becomes very unhealthy. When you cannot function, if that person is not available or if that person is busy somewhere else. Or if the person according to you ignores you.
And then this healthy relationship becomes painful, and a person who you are fixated on becomes a victim of your attention. Because you demand all the time, all the attention and everything, every happiness of yours from him. And you do not want him to be a human. But you want him to be like a God who is available everywhere, all the time, and is dancing to your tune.
It is your own emptiness, or some fear, or something that you are missing in your own life and are unable to get out of that fixation
People are giving different names to their obsessions, and compulsions, and you are stalking somebody. Or you are there, are some other words also which are used for this kind of relationship? The way you go crazy about somebody. I did my own research and always like what happens and that you get fixated on somebody and are unable to get out of that fixation.
The only reason that I could find out is that it is your own emptiness. Some fear or some weakness, or something that you are missing on in your own life. And which you’re not paying attention to and you’re paying your full attention to something else. Because if you will pay attention to what is lacking in your life, that may be too much to face. So, instead of facing that truth, you can’t see eye to eye. You are putting your whole attention on somebody else. And then try to drive all the security and pleasure and strength from that relationship.
It is important tp spend some time with Yourself
So, if somebody is trying to help you by making you realize how unimportant it is to fall in that kind of relationship. So, that solution may not be the right solution. The right solution will be that what in your life is there which you are not able to face comfortably. Or which is painful to face or gives you anxiety or what fear you have of losing something. And what have you lost in something in life in order to make it look better? You are filling it up with somebody else.
Actually, you are filling up your life with someone else’s presents and their someone else can do it, because that is not the right answer. So, spend some time with yourself. And find out what is that person or solution for then put attention to your empty spaces. And fill them up with whatever it takes and become more healthy you. The answer to that personal fixation will be in you and not in that person. This is an extremely important thing for people who are fixated. And the thing that it is a relationship that you can’t live without that is not the truth, think about it.