THREE WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF-WORTH
Having self-worth is ability to listen to your inner voice, or self-dialogue that tells you if you are good enough to do or achieve something. It is how we feel about ourselves and what we think about who we are and what we can do.
But mostly, in order to be humble, we do not take credit for our accomplishments and good deeds. But, in my view, if we don’t own these acts, deeds, and qualities, we can’t reach our full potential and find out who we are.
Don’t we all find ourselves in situations when we feel low because of not being valued enough or credited enough?
The feeling of not being valued enough adversely affects our self-worth and confidence and takes us away from finding out who we truly are.
Here are three strategies that will help you realise your own worth and blossom into a more accomplished, assured person.
Start Owning What You Have Done for Others Too
Many times, in life, we feel that we helped people around us, sacrificed our interests for them, worked harder to provide comfort for them, but being humble reminds us not to pay attention to our sacrifices. Even when someone reminds us of the assistance we have given to others, we answer, “I did nothing, it is only God’s favour.”
However, I realised that I needed to start embracing the feeling of successfully helping others and feel the emotions as much as I wanted to. To adhere to what we’ve been taught, I likewise refrained from taking ownership of the things I’d done. Rather, people make us focus on the things we did incorrectly rather than on the things we did correctly.
For example, you assist someone in finding the proper employment, overcoming severe challenges in his life, and bringing about a good transformation in his life. Most in such cases, we prefer not to take credit for aiding others and instead ascribe everything to God, stating that everything happened as a result of God’s will. The individual who you helped get the job also forgets acknowledging the help received and may ignore you.
Emotions that trigger thoughts and ruin our health
We’re taught to be modest and grounded, and to abstain from taking ownership of the things we accomplish for others. Feelings of not being thanked might make you feel low and uneasy. This is something we have to let go of. How do we part with such emotions?
To part with such emotions that trigger thoughts and ruin our health, we must feel complete ownership, just as we feel the complete possession of our house. Only when you feel and experience the ownership of having made a difference to someone’s life can be part with such feelings as only an owner has the capacity to provide it to others. Hence, we must begin to possess these emotions of being of value in order to part with them.
However, this does not imply that he must carry a banner outside and proudly display our achievements in front of everyone. Because a real owner doesn’t publicize the ownership; only when we do not truly possess something do we go out of our way to tell everyone about it. Having a sense of ownership of the help you have provided to others means we must fully experience the contentment we feel after helping others.
Do Not Downgrade Yourself Out of Fear of Offending Others
Humility necessitates that we present ourselves as equal to others. We tend to remain at par with social circles to make others feel superior to us. We lower our own standards in order to make another person feel good about themselves. I did it several times before realising that if I exhibited my full potential, it may be unacceptable for others. As a result, I held back on expressing my full ability out of fear of offending others.
Strive to stay at par and not above others
Every incident in our lives, no matter how trivial, we strive to stay at par and not above others. For example, someone admires your beautiful hair. We have a tendency to respond with, “No, yours are superior to mine”, because we just strive to be on an equal footing with everyone else, not realising that it is essential to express and explore our uniqueness because it will bring unparalleled, exceptional, and unique perspective to every issue rather than simply attempting to be like everyone else.
For instance, while I was studying music, I started singing in a different voice, abandoning my uniqueness in the hope of singing more melodiously. My music instructor exhibited displeasure, stating that if I sang in my natural voice, I would sound more melodic. Taking music lessons transformed my life because I’ve felt my entire life that I lacked a pleasant voice and couldn’t sing. However, once I began to embrace my voice, it became therapeutic for me.
Once You Know What You Want, No One Else Can Make You Change Your Mind
Holding on to our uniqueness also reminds me of an incident that my music teacher experienced when he was training to become a musician. The music teacher was pursuing his studies to become an engineer when he discovered he wanted to become a musician. He began playing at get-togethers and parties where people appreciated and admired his voice, finally quitting his studies to venture full-time into music.
After quitting his studies, he went to a guru he admired, who instructed him to master the basic notes and return to him in one month. Given his previous experience as a musician, he found it disrespectful to return after a month having just learned the fundamental notes.
As a result, anticipating to advance and expecting admiration from the guru, he went one step further by singing some more notes in front of the guru. Contrary to his expectations, the teacher informed him that he had failed in his effort and instructed him to practise for another month before returning. Although such unexpected announcement of his failure, made him lose hope and he thought of giving up on music, but he returned and sang the same notes.
Again, the guru desired adjustment, but was confident and firmly insisted that the Guru recognise that his singing was up to par. When the Guru saw my teacher’s certainty and assurance, he couldn’t help but approve.
This illustrates the idea that once you know what you want, no one else can make you alter your mind. When we allow negative words from others to affect us, it indicates that we are unsure of our own potential. We must be in tune with ourselves and Own Who We Are.
You can read our blog on “ Own Your Achievements to Find Who You Are”