Marriage counseling does work!!
Continue with the topic of divorce. When I mentioned divorce is a milestone, I got some comments that it is something you are not looking for. But in life’s journey, if you happen to walk and continue to walk, you end up on different milestones. And it is always a good idea to stop at a milestone and reflect on how long you have come and how far you have to go.
What do you mean by DIVORCE?
Similar to that is that most divorce, when two people decided, okay, let’s end this relationship. They don’t come to that conclusion in a hurry; whenever the decision was made, people reflect on that, and then it goes away in a few days. But then if you have finally landed, to the point where you’re filling up the forms and applying for the divorce, and bringing another party to help you separate from each other and overlook the whole process, that means now you’re serious about the process of divorce.
People are sometimes reluctant to seek counseling because they believe that they are the best judges of their own situation
In any fight or any argument, if you go unchecked, it just keeps on increasing. Many times when people are almost at the end of finishing the relationship, I ask them Did you consult anybody that you go for any counseling or therapy. So they have not addressed that because they thought they are the best judge of their situation, and then they know what to do now. Maybe you’re wrong. Because when you sit down with a person who is not a party to your every day, brick black, you think, along with that person, so like that person has to suggest to you something, but then you think aloud, and you listen to yourself, and then sometimes you unfold or untangle.
The best thing that you can do before getting divorced is to get marriage counseling
The question which you posed to your partner, but you knew the answer best? Why don’t you like me? Why do you hate me? And sometimes you have that answer. So, I say is that in case you want to try it with another person who can help you to look at you rather than look at the other person, how wrong, how bad, how evil he is. Maybe tables can turn the other way. So it is an effective solution to go for some therapy and counseling, even now, coming for help.
To me, where my approach is holistic. I just addressed the person in front of me and asked him to look at all the parts of his life and not only focus on one part, marriage. Because sometimes the heat and the steam is coming from some other unresolved part of your life. Maybe you’re physically not doing that, well. Maybe your past is triggered because of some other reason. And everything is coming in the present time now. You do not know how many reasons there can be off you’re upset.
You should find the CAUSE
But you think there is only one reason, just like conventional medicine; look at the symptom and start with the treatment, not find the cause. Find the cause. And the cause can be underlying, and it will take time to unravel to get to the point and find out what is triggering this situation over and over, making you believe that if I break this relationship, everything will be fine. Most of the time, it is not, ending the relationship is not the solution.
Find out more about yourself before you discover all the details about the other person
To bring you peace and comfort so that is my advice to you out of my experience as a married person, and also observing this phenomena in hundreds or 1000s of cases I’ve worked with where people are at the last leg of divorce or separating from each other in a relationship.
And when they start exploring themselves, they find out there was something not right with them in the first place. Find out more about yourself before you discover all the details about the other person, point to think, thank you.
YouTube Channel Name: Dr. Alka Chopra Madan
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