The energy from grief is so heavy; it’s like feeling very close to death. People who are grieving often think about giving up on life. These thoughts of ending their life are very common. Trying to rush or hide these feelings makes things worse. The desire to give up on life gets stronger, and people sometimes hide it well by putting on fake smiles. Inside, they feel devastated, and nothing seems to make them happy. Understanding the process of grief is extremely important, especially when the person is in denial or disbelief of the loss that has happened to him.
So, this problem of coming to terms with what has happened to a person, as a result he is experiencing loss is the most important thing. And if anybody wants the grieving person to rush through that process, and wants to make him come to the terms that it has finally happened, while he himself is unable to come to terms with it , it is not appropriate.
We need to allow him to process all of the disbelief he has experienced about various things that have happened over the course of his life. This one is the ultimate, where he is grief-stricken.
Also, sadness is a long-lasting state in which they just want to be sad, and their sadness is beautiful. They want to live in that sadness so they have created a cocoon around themselves. And that cocoon is comforting because it lets them experience the sense of losing the loss; they want to live with that loss forever. And breathe that loss, eat that loss. And that loss essentially opens another gateway to increased awareness, allowing you to look beyond. You start to wonder why some people can’t look beyond where the truth of existence is.
When we are talking about grief counseling, I‘m not only talking about losing your near and dear ones; I’m also referring to loss of relationships, connections and bonds with people who are still alive. This could include facing job loss, property loss, and various other kinds of losses, each with its own degree of impact. The separation from them is almost going through the same process. Offering understanding and recognition of the disbelief and denial the person is grappling with, as well as the hollowness they feel, is the most precious gift you can give to someone going through this phase of life.
In grief, people need counseling more than any other emotion because the emotional support they get from friends and family is not appropriate and they want to dwell in grief. They want to live with grief and only with a person who understands it. Like a counselor or therapist, who says that “yes. grief is real and grief needs time to heal you”. Friends and family may aggravate the situation. And the person grieving doesn’t even feel like sharing with them.
So this is one tip which I want to give you; if you’re in grief and you want to not get out of it, even then see a counselor or a therapist and fully dwell in it. Experience it fully. till you are ready to believe that this has happened.
You will move on only when it is fully digested, understood, processed, And I would love to give you that much time anytime.
YouTube Channel Name: Dr. Alka Chopra Madan
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