When you are single and unmarried, you are a very gung-ho person; you go out, have lots of friends, have many hobbies, dance, photograph, learn music, watch movies, and paint. You want to grow your career; you study different languages. The list is on and on. And you’re pleased with your growth and progress; you have many things to brag about yourself.
You don’t even know when that relationship becomes more important than yourself
And then you feel that there is a need for change, and you end up entering into a relationship. That relationship demands commitment and time. You don’t even know when that relationship becomes more important than yourself. Now, you are very careful about what the other person wants and want to enjoy quality time with him. You want to hang out together, you want to plan a future together, you want to do everything together.
It seems right. But this frustration of not being with yourself keeps on piling up; you do not find the same person you used to be before getting into this relationship of marriage. So your self-growth, your self-love, is bypassed by this hard work on this marriage relationship so that this relationship continues.
Don’t give up on your personal goals or personal growth
Don’t give up on your personal goals or personal growth; continue doing what you were doing before entering this relationship. Personal happiness will keep you rejuvenated and fresh you’re willing to give more to this second relationship. Always look at the second relationship if it contributes to your first relationship with yourself. Most of the time, people get bogged down and irritated because they have no time to follow up on their career goals. Or to pursue their happiness in the form of different hobbies, which made them expand and feel who they were.
So don’t give up your glasses because the vision is clearer when you put them on. And when you put on the borrowed glasses or the second relationship, try to maintain the beauty of a relationship with the other person. You overshadow yourself.
Remain committed to yourself more than this second relationship
Remain committed to yourself more than this second relationship. And surprisingly, the second relationship will get strength from the first relationship of being with who you are. And that increases the longevity of the second relationship and happiness and togetherness in the second relationship.
Be yourself first before you become somebody else’s spouse
Make a list of all the things you used to do before you got into the second relationship and find out enough time and resources to fulfill that. Do not be reasonable about that list. Put that on the wall, the refrigerator, and the kitchen table in your bedroom so that it shows up in front of you repeatedly and reminds you. Be yourself first before you become somebody else’s spouse. Thank you
YouTube Channel Name: Dr. Alka Chopra Madan
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